Speed of Sue---A Sonic FanFic Parody 2
by Beyond An Anomaly
Summary: Because after a day of high school, college was just the way to go for these anthro hooligans. More crazy, random antics. More clichés. More sheer idiocy. More ridiculous writing from a deranged fangirl. You know you want it.


_**Hey howdy hey, readers! It be me, BAA, bringing you EXACTLY what you needed: a sequel to Speed of Sue!**_

…_**Yay?**_

_**So yes, before we begin, this story is a PARODY on the cliché writing of a very…interesting archive: Sonic the Hedgehog. This is directed towards NO ONE. Tis all for laughs, I assure you.**_

_**So without further ado, I give to thee the sequel of Speed of Sue-A Sonic Fanfic Parody!**_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

_**-BAA, who doesn't own what SEGA, Nintendo, Konami…every other game developer ever made does.**_

* * *

Oh yeah.

It's back, baby. The sequel every single living, breathing being in the whole freaking universe needed. Because EVERYONE wanted to know what happened after this:

_His friends stared down at this letter, and they also cringed in disgust. For to their dismay on an undetermined date..._

_They were to be enrolled into Rainbow Emerald College._

Oh MAN, what a place to leave off of! The perfect way to end a story that made sense to no one, had cameos that very few people knew, pissed off anyone who had the endurance to read a chapter, and was random and spontaneous at the point where one would question if the author behind the keyboard was high on something, if she wasn't mentally deranged.

And now, the author has decided that after writing a couple more stories, getting slightly more attention and going through four months after the completion of the story, it would be dandy to take another stab at getting MORE attention by writing what the FANS want to read! Does she want to write about cheesy romance, plot-holes, and the wild antics of college, while she's still in high school and has barely even thought about what she wants to do for the rest of her life?

Ha! 'Course not, stupid! This is all about the fellow fangirls who want to gawk over her work! It's not about the passion! It's about the reviews! Not the dedication and style of the work! But the story!

Because everyone knows that ITZ DA STORIE DAT MATRS.

So yeah! Let's get this sequel train a-rollin'! Enjoy!

(AN: You better. Or I will report you to all HELL. No negativity will be tolerated here, because everything is sunshine and rainbows on the Internet, so go away, stupid trolls!)

And so, dear reader...we begin.

_**I'LLCOMEUPWITHAFANCYLINEBREAKLATER**_

Sonic the Hedgehog found himself waking up to the faint beeping of an alarm clock. He was in his bed, of course. Would you have this story start off in any other way? Waking up from bed is how a ridiculous amount of people in the world start off their day, after all.

"Unh…" Sonic rubbed the back of his head, feeling sore, for some reason. He hazily opened up his green orbs, which felt like they weren't functioning that properly.

"Where…" Sonic moaned, keeping himself up with his elbow. "Where am I?"

The room Sonic was in was dark. Yes, pitch black. Like, you couldn't see a thing, it was so dark…but not dark enough to not put in unnecessary details about the room. Yet, it would be better if Sonic turned on a light or something for him to recognize the overly-detailed fodder for himself.

So, the Blue Blur turned on the brass lamp with a green lampshade sitting on the mahogany side table, which was positioned on the right side of the queen-sized bed the hedgehog slept in for about eight hours.

And that excessive overkill of scenery was merely a preview.

The walls of the room Sonic was in were dark green, with wallpaper peeling. Sonic also noticed that his sheets, comforter, and pillow were also green. The alarm clock that buzzed twenty-two seconds before that very moment was green. And guess what color the frame of the bed was?

That's right! Mahogany to match with the side table! Does this room not sound_ riveting_?

Well, it was to Sonic, considering that this room was such an unfamiliar environment to him. He was confused…

"What…" Sonic hesitated finishing his statement again. "What even happened last…"

But before he could finish, he noticed that he wasn't alone in this resting place for the average, civilized organism.

For a lump about the same size as the speedy wonder could be seen buried under the uniquely green comforter, green head bulging out of the green blankets.

Oooh, here's a fun game! Count how many times you come across the word "green" in this entire story! If you're planning on taking count right now, it's best to start at seven or eight.

Anywho, Sonic hesitantly lifted his hand and shook the lump a little. And soon, the green head peaked out of the covers, with eyes squinted. The person that just woke up had, get this, BLUE eyes (mixing it up! LOL!) that were really bothered by the apparently bright, check this out, YELLOW lights! So, due to the irritation, the green hedgehog took out a pair of, oh man, RED sunglasses!

Wow! Seeing the name of a color besides green never felt so good, did it?

The green (had to end it sometime…) hedgehog looked around, mumbling,

"What the $*!%?"

This particular character speaks in different symbols whenever he swears, which tends to happen often. Archie Sonic, comics that hard-core, modern-day Sonic fans are too way past cool to read, taught me that.

So before you die of suspense, wondering who the %!$# this stranger is…

"…Scourge?!" Sonic gasped in shock and sheer perplexity. He was surprised that yet another character was added onto this ridiculous FanFiction series.

Sound any familiar, former reader?

Indeed, there was the alter-ego of Sonic the Hedgehog from the Archie comics that everyone loves to bash. Scourge the Hedgehog was always considered a ruthless, beyond evil bad-boy, with a femme fatale as a love interest. But in the flame-free fangirl world in which I reside, Scourge is a love maniac who scandalously falls for anyone he meets.

And apparently, the blue hedgehog was his sweet passion.

Um...yeah. This is MY story. I can do what I want with the characters, aight? Aight.

"Uh…yeah." Scourge answered Sonic's question, as he lifted himself out of the bed. "Sure am."

Sonic stared down at the bed, and then back at Scourge.

"Did…did we…" his eyes widened. Like you were sick of THAT word. "Play the piano last night?"

Scourge adjusted his sunglasses.

"I dunno. Maybe."

Oh, I'm sorry! Hate Sonourge? Got something against it?

Well, guess what, homie!

I don't care. Don't like it, don't read it. Only say something if you have something good to say about Chapter 1. You don't wanna hurt a fangirl's feelings by crushing her dreams, making her feel inferior because of her own preferences, and demeaning her artistic ability, now do you?

Instead of Sonic being shocked or whatever, he shrugged.

"Oh. Okay." he said. He then tilted his head, pursing his lip. "But I just have a few questions."

"Shoot."

"Alright. Number One," Sonic pointed up his index finger. "Where are we?"

Scourge thought for a moment, turning his head left and right.

"My bar." he answered. "The Green Shades."

"Uh…" Sonic rubbed his chin. "Green…Shades?"

"Yup. I could tell from all the green."

Green was indeed Scourge's favorite color, which wasn't hard for anyone to predict. He himself was green, and the walls of his bar were super dark green, with his employees wearing green uniforms and simply associating themselves with the hue; even Scourge's bartender was green. He even decided to add a few bedrooms in his bar to make a miniature hotel to rake in some more green, and as you read before this stupid explanation, those rooms, along with 86% of everything inside them, were also green.

Still keeping count? In that case…fifteen to twenty sounds about good.

Anyway…

"Second question…" Sonic pointed up another finger. "Why am I here?"

"I don't know." Scourge shrugged. Why are they handling all this so calmly? I'm too lazy to put in detail about any other emotions, that's why.

Hey, I least I could ANSWER the question.

"Third, how exactly are we in the same bed? Did we, like, lose some bet or something?"

"No idea."

"That's cool. And finally," Sonic decided to give out his final question. It was gonna go unanswered, like everything else in this Fanfic, of course. "What exactly happened last night? I feel dizzy and don't remember anything."

"Well," Scourge scoffed. "You're in a bar. Your head hurts,"

"Wait, how did you know my head hurt?"

"And you, nor I, can remember absolutely nothing about the night before. So, dude," Scourge refused to answer Sonic's previous question. "We obviously got intoxicated."

Sonic nodded slowly, not at all considering the fact that he was too young to drink. Or that he was sharing a bed with one of his worst enemies. Or that few of his questions were actually answered, even though that, due to past experiences, it was something he should get used to.

Not much made sense, and anyone reading this probably wants to murder me and flame me to death for not putting in "enough detail" and I "shouldn't rush the first chapter".

Well, I've got a lot to say! And this is only Chapter 1! So guys, be patient, m'kay?

"So…" Sonic stated. "You're saying…that we're going have to go through this entire story and figure out what exactly happened from Point A to Point B, while possibly making bizarre discoveries that could lead to different plot-holes and unexplained, maybe crack-fic worthy antics?"

"You got it, boi."

"I just got one question…"

"Yeeeeeup?"

Sonic looked around the room yet again, as if that would do anything.

"…Where is everyone?" he inquired. "And why do I have the weird feeling that we're supposed to be at some place?"

"That was two questions, but…" Scourge tipped down his glasses, only to push them back up. He then extended his finger at Sonic's side table. "What's that?"

Sonic turned his head down at the table and noticed a folded up letter, addressed to Sonic and Co. He opened it. Oooooh, interest equals piqued!

He skimmed through the letter, but then the author got lazy and decided to not say what the letter exactly said. However, she figured the last line was enough:

_So…yeah! Sonic and crew, you guys are gonna be enrolled into Rainbow Emerald College starting September 21, 2013! Hope you enjoyed four months of freedom, because THIS story's gonna be a doozy!_

_-BAA_

_P.S.: Just saying, the more romance, randomness, and nonsensical, scandalous events that occur, the more fangirls will be attracted. So yep! Enjoy yourselves maybe, if that's at all possible! :D_

He screamed, crinkling the paper in a ball and throwing it against the wall in seething, bitter, agonizing rage. That's right! That stupid author was sending them to college! Freaking COLLEGE! Right after a whole ridiculous day of high school too!

Well, this was fan-freakin'-tastic. Sonic and Scourge were now in the same bed, apparently had a hangover, lost all their friends in the progress, and were now "cutting" college, having to explore and discover the obsessively green world in the hopes of making sense where sense did not exist.

"Oh…" Sonic groaned, rubbing his temple. "What could make this any-"

Sonic stared at Scourge, whose pupils could be seen from above his glasses. Yes. THAT huge. The sapphire furry stared in the direction Scourge was staring, and he couldn't help but act surprised and stuff as well.

"Oh…" Amy Rose just woke up in between Sonikku and Scourga Boy. "What's with all the ruckus?"

Sonic's mouth slowly gaped open, as Scourge was slightly frazzled himself.

"We…we're in a…" Sonic gulped. "LOVE TRIANGLE WITH AMY?!"

It was at this that Sonic screamed again out of total fear. Apparently Sonamy was part of his life now…or Sonamyourge, if you wanna get technical.

Were you able to make sense out of that entire scene? No? Well, that sucks.

Because in this crazy sequel…

There's plenty more idiotic, unexplained events to come.


End file.
